DAS WRATH VON SHRECKEN-FILM-MAKER!

That’s it! I ain’t gonna be nice no more! I was always nice when I reviewed indie films before, even films with problems. See, I’m an indie film-maker myself- having made six feature films. And I’m not perfect. Sometimes my films clicked, endearing audiences – sometimes audiences watched my films and just shook their heads. Anyway, I’ve learned a lot as a film-maker, and wish to share my experiences.

I caught Jim Carroll’s horror-thriller, EVIL BEHIND YOU. Carroll calls his film “…a scary Christian-based thriller marketed to the PG-13 crowd. Other movies rely on nudity, profanity, squirting blood, gore and sudden sound burst to create fear, “Evil Behind You” relies on an extremely unique plot. We created a movie that will make an impression and last for a lifetime.” This “unique” film centers on four whiny young adults held prisoner in a basement. Nobody panics, the “prison set” is neater than my apartment, and I’ve seen this same movie plot many times before! Obviously, Mr. Carroll watched the recent popular horror movie named for a common hardware tool. He felt he could do so much better by doing a near-remake, with nothing unsettling on-screen, that it would be suitable to be viewed by a box of kittens! I’m sorry, this film looked like what would happen if the local Sunday Scholl staged a production of SAW. Jim, horror films aren’t about how much blood we do or do not see. A good horror film-maker focuses solely on the nightmarish scenario described in his screenplay. Sometimes, in the case of THE SIXTH SENSE, or THE NIGHT OF THE HUNTER, the film-maker decides to keep the stage blood in the fridge. With something like LAST HOUSE ON THE LEFT, the director feels blood-letting heightens the reality, and scares! We want horror stories, not horror lessons! Of course, many horror films do use gratuitous sex and blood-splatter to mask their short-comings.

Camp Motion Pictures is re-releasing some of the first horror films shot on video. One of their offerings, CANNIBAL CAMPOUT was lensed in 1988 by directors Jon McBride and Tom Fisher. Remember 80’s films like FRIDAY THE 13th and MOTHER’S DAY? These were two of many films depicting campers being clobbered by backwoods kooks! It seemed in an 80’s movie, if you went camping, you were simply doomed from the start! CANNIBAL CAMPOUT is the same ol’ camper carnage, only with far more blood, and far less acting ability! I watched these two films back to back, and I felt very strange, as if I watched a six-hour video of The Wiggles shackled to a radiator!

THE DEFINITION OF INSANITY is a rather engrossing film that, for a film-maker or actor, hits home. For those who never had the chance to work on a film, it offers an unfiltered, entertaining look at what makes us show-biz people (and wanna-be show people). Director Robert Margolis plays himself, a struggling New York actor. While he searches for profitable and rewarding acting work, his loved ones grow impatient. The stress Margolis experiences is way too real. We see the people around him give him unfair time limits to hit it big. Margolis filmed something he knew. How he was going to film it came second. THE DEFINITION OF INSANITY has heart, a broken, but strong heart, and is one worth catching.

Another fascinating film that captures the creative/financial quicksand film-makers and actors get themselves into is the highly comedic THE KEBAB CONNECTION. A young Turkish actor works a kebab stand by day, and later in the day, looks for work as an actor. He has an appetite for kung-fu films and wants to be the next Bruce Lee. It sort of feels like a combination of a Mafia movie and a Bollywood musical. Lots of fun.

Mervyn LeRoy has always been one of my favorite film directors. An unsung creative dynamo from Hollywood’s studio system, LeRoy’s films from sixty or seventy years ago, like I AM A FUGITIVE FROM A CHAIN GANG, THEY WON’T FORGET and (as producer only) THE WIZARD OF OZ, move along so quickly, with plenty of energy, modern audiences remain glued to the screen. One of his famous quotes was “Shoot the story – not the money.” For the indie film-maker let’s change it to “Shoot the story, not the film theory book.” Wait, that doesn’t sound catchy, but you get what I mean…

In the 1970’s, every American town had one or two homegrown rock bands, young beginner musicians with various amounts of drive, talent and business savvy. Some, like Metallica, made it to the top, others’ like my sister’s high school sweetheart, quit and became an engineer. Today, the local garage-band has been replaced by the local film-maker. Digital video has placed film-making tools in everyone’s hands.

Matthew Buzzell’s docu-drama, DO YOU MISS ME plays into this garage-band/local film-maker analogy. His feature-length study of, Luna, a New York indie-rock band, made me think of how musicians and film-makers, in comparison, have creative juices flow, along with a degree of drama and the occasional hissy-fit. The unpolished docu look of Buzzell’s film puts you right on the tour bus with the Lunas.
Recommended Viewing.

One of the first shot-on-video horror films is Jon McBride’s WOODCHIPPER MASSACRE, lensed back in 1989. This study in family bonding (and grinding up bodies) is enhanced with some wild over-the-top comedy. It’s like watching the Brady Bunch go on an Ed Gien styled killing spree, by accident. McBride shot his film on the only video medium available back then – analog. The colors are harsh, pretty much like one of those home movie clips on AMERICA’S FUNNIEST VIDEOS. Personally, I find some of the clips aired on AFV downright creepy. Maybe that’s why I had so much ghoulish fun with WOODCHIPPER MASSACRE. The film is released by Camp Motion Pictures, a new video distribution firm that showcases slasher films high on gore and twisted visions, visions conventional cinema wishes to side-step. (Just me nit-picking – I don’t agree with the word “camp” here. Pretentious films like THE BLUE BIRD, where Liz Taylor plays a bling-bling fairy Godmother, or BOOM! again, with Miss Liz, become riotous camp classics with their ultra serious sledge-hammer symbolism. You just can’t purposely make a camp classic.) If you want to spend the evening staring at the Boob Tube saying “What The F….?” then WOODCHIPPER MASSACRE is ripe for you.

More indie horror slithers our way with Biff Juggernaut’s LOVECRACKED THE MOVIE. Imagine Monty Python directed by Dario Argento, and you have this crazy collection of nine gore/comedy skits. The linking thread for these surreal bloodbaths is a Monty Python-like reporter doing an investigative report of famed horror author H.P Lovecraft. Cameos by famed Troma exec Lloyd Kaufmann and punk rock princess Joanna Angel pepper this savage bit of DVD fun. My only complaint here is that while Juggernaut made a film with a very original look, and format, leaping from dismemberment to giggles, he throws in some rather tired clichés. During the closing credits we see “funny” out-takes off in the corner. Some scenes are pretty much direct repeats of famous Python sketches. Biff, when somebody says, “You know, Biff, how we always see in all those movies where they (insert cliché here.) Well we should do that,” just ignore them, Biff. Anyway, a fun, sick movie.

Another good film that uses overused clichés is IRAQ FOR SALE, directed by Robert Greenwald. Greenwald, who made the recent WAL-MART – THE HIGH COST OF LOW PRICE, OUTFOXED and UNCOVERED, fascinating documentaries, began his film career with Hollywood crowd-pleasers like SWEETHEARTS DANCE and XANADU. (Going from a roller-blading Gene Kelly to Sadaam… I’m impressed!) IRAQ FOR SALE shows the mismanagement by the key members of the Department of Defense to profit by the war in Iraq. It will surely insult the right-wingers in the audience and surely confirm the paranoia in the leftists. But, that’s what good documentary film-making is all about – stirring debate, and getting people to think. (Fittingly, Greenwald’s production company is called Brave New Films. Like LOVECRACKED, my complaint is that a few times Greenwald takes the easy road – the cliché. He imitates the famous scene in SUPER SIZE ME where we see Morgan Spurlock on the phone, making many unsuccessful calls to a major Mickey D’s exec. Greenwald has somebody doing the same thing – trying to get through to a profiteer on the phone.

Indie films lose their creative punch when they pay too close an homage to their favorite films, or have the need to imitate a technique used in a similar, more famous film. The reason why most people see our indie films is that they want to soak in the kind of unique creativity that the studio moguls dare not put in a summer blockbuster.

To the many film-makers who have submitted their films for me to review: I have been absent from writing film reviews and from my own film-making due to over-bearing family issues since August. I’m almost back on track, now, so keep on making those films, and sending them in.