By Victoria Alexander
Thor has been emasculated and is a co-star in his own movie. It’s rote work for Hemsworth.
Thor has been emasculated. For all that talk about Thor Odinson being the Asgardian God of Thunder and the former king of Asgard, he couldn’t save his planet from complete destruction. Thor is also a founding member of the Avengers, but, while this is “his” movie, everybody, even Superman, appears.
In the Disney-themed New Asgard, a popular tourist destination, Thor is a character in the hourly run live-action stage play.
The soundtrack is Guns N’ Roses hits.
There is a new villain disturbing galaxy peace. Gorr the Butcher (Christian Bale) has a good reason for revenge on all the gods when his pleas to his personal god Rapu led to the death of his daughter. When Gorr receives miraculous godly powers, he sends his newly organized force, the “shadow monsters” to do some nasty business.
Thor (Chris Hemsworth) enlists his pals, the Guardians of the Galaxy to fight the “shadow monsters.”
So THOR: LOVE AND THUNDER is crowded with a slew of other flying deities to help the God of Thunder. Thor’s hammer, once his beloved accessory, has moved on. If you can’t rely on your hammer’s loyalty, it’s time to wear jeans and t-shirt and take a bicycle to work.
The Hammer has abandoned Thor to assist Thor’s former love Jane Foster (Natalie Portman) who has a terminal disease that medicine cannot help. Jane’s last hope is not Reiki, Philippine healers, spiritism, or magnetic therapy. It's Asgard magic.
Jane is suddenly transformed into The Mighty Thor with long blond hair, better makeup, her very own Thor-inspired costume and a personal accessory, the Mjollnir Hammer. If only she had gained a personality worthy of being crowned The Mighty Thor.
Ah, Thor is sad because he lost his great love Jane and now here she is on the battlefield helping him – she’s wielding his Hammer! Thor has been a love sick puppy for Jane, though he has not been celibate. You would think some alone-time would be appropriate for these two even if entire planetary systems are being destroyed by that killjoy Gorr.
Before Gorr goes about extinguishing gods and goddesses, he stops to visit the Altar of Eternity. Somehow Gorr is not only upset with Rapu, he still holds a grudge against the destroyed Asgard. Finding a few transplanted Asgardins in New Asgard, he abducts all their children. Gorr keeps all the children captive in a huge spiked cage floating somewhere. Where were these kid’s parents?
No one in Thor’s vast team of helpers have any of their own children.
More help arrives. New Asgard is under the protection of King Valkyrie (Tessa Thompson). This may well be a ceremonial role due to her not quite regal costume. Shouldn’t she be held responsible for the children being kidnapped? King Valkyrie was busy keeping up on her warrior skills and pining over a lost lover. First its lovesick Thor, now it’s the lovesick King of New Asgard. Valkyrie is moping around looking for her Queen.
Isn’t anyone sexually happy in the MCU?
Crowding the “help Thor” landscape is his rock pal Korg (Waititi) and two non-speaking goats.
Before starting out to rescue the children, the team goes to the Golden Temple of the Gods to ask even more help requesting backup from the wild and crazy Zeus (Russell Crowe). MCU mythology says “Zeus Panhellenios is the King of the Olympians and the Greco-Roman God of the Sky. He has three sons: Dionysus, Hercules and Ares. His enemies are the Asgardians, specifically Thor.” So why go to Zeus?
Zeus, for the pleasure of his harem, strips Thor of his clothes. All the ladies are duly impressed. While everyone ponders Thor’s considerable attributes, he somehow relieves Zeus of his premier weapon, a golden lightning bolt.
Directed by Taika Waititi. With an additional “story by” credit, Waititi wrote the screenplay with
Jennifer Kaytin Robinson. I do not know the hagiography of MCU’s characters. Hemsworth seems tired of the role and costume, though it is very nice – but Jane has the same costume!
Maybe Hemsworth told Waititi he didn’t want a lot of dialogue and had already put in enough green screen time. He’s a co-star in his own movie.
Who insisted that the screenplay shove in so many characters to help Thor?
I like Waititi and he is certainly an interesting man, especially since the “throuple” photos of him, Rita Ora and Tessa Thompson went viral. A rumor implied that Marvel was not happy with Waititi’s public displays of affection to both women and he was told, in my interpretation, to “cool it.” So I was not surprised Waititi became officially engaged to Ora just as Marvel began the THOR: LOVE AND THUNDER publicity machine. Waititi’s athletic sex life is now quietly transformed into that of an in love fiancé. Then,Thompson came out as bisexual.
Waititi is not interested in memorializing Hemsworth’s beauty. He has done his star a disservice. Waititi forgot that Chris Hemsworth is the star and he is an exceptionally handsome man. Waititi has Chris’s Thor stumbling around. Waititi doesn’t dedicate much time to Hemsworth and the sour Portman. Nothing can redeem Portman’s sharp-featured face and her voice denotes one emotion: strained resolve.
Hemsworth has a great deal of sex appeal (BAD TIMES AT THE EL ROYALE) under the right director who appreciates his appeal. But Waititi has – perhaps not his intent but he’s certainly not complaining - his very own sexual status. Waititi should have given Hemsworth the proper respect for the God of Thunder’s massive star quality among mortals and fellow flying, fire-spewing discontents, instead of making Thor a god who keeps calling for backup.
See how Baz Luhrmann made love to Austin Butler, his cinematic David, in every shot.
Having skipped the press screening, I paid to see THOR: LOVE AND THUNDER. I did not know there were two post-credit scenes. Is this a word-of-month ploy? There should be a hint for the folks not residents of the Marvel Universe.
The first post-credit scene was Zeus with one of his sons, Hercules. A new villain, with a laugh out loud dad, rises.
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